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hello, i'm justin groper, fresh from a seventeen year prison
stretch for a hitherto undisclosed crime! i'm going to be consulting
the uh, the uh... zo-diac, yes, zodiac that's right, ha ha! um...
well anyway its all to do with this mystical relationship i have
with the universe. yeah, that'll do. just read it and no matter what
bollocks i write feel free to apply it to something in your
life.
 ARIES - the ram (march 21 - april 20)
Today is definitely a good week to be reflecting on your
future decisions. It is a good time to make plans involving anything
culinary (such as a hearty bowl of dick)
FAVORITE COLOUR: west
 TAURUS - the mad cow (april 21 - may 21)
Restraints that have held you back in the past will
momentarily be loosened around noon by a helpful shard of sunlight.
Whilst your captor is squinting loose yourself away and fly dammit,
sniff... do the things your daddy could never do... sob... dance my
angel.... sorry what?
BIRTH STONE: moisture
 JIM - the bachelor
(Sky Digital ch 405)
You don't feel like creating a new life out of wood today,
but dont let that put you off, because around mid-week, the god of
working flushes, Jupiter will align with Lead, god of poisoning
causing you to totally re-evaluate the use of bits of wood in the
construction of functioning human beings. ahhh.
REPRESENTATIVE ANIMAL: the oxygen
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